Thursday, April 16, 2009

Past his naptime

So I recently got a rather hilarious comment that I felt compelled to share with my handful of readers, as it is a great example of why policy revolutions are so dangerous.

Lets just take it from the top:

Millicent...Walking Shark!!! Fucking morons...both!!! Pull your heads out of each others assholes, shut the fuck up for just a few minutes, put your bongs down and pay attention for those few minutes. You might be amazed at what you might learn, the clarity, the light, when ones head is extracted from his lovers ass!!!

Ah, so I'm foolish, ignorant, blinded, and drug addled. This attack, especially the references to pot smoking, is fresh, original, and brings a sense of enlightened discourse to the argument. This person is obviously someone we should all stop and pay attention to, as he is about to bring some serious, wise, and reasoned discourse to our previously childish and simplistic rantings.

Fucking communists.

Wait... when have I ever advocated for (as wikipedia puts it) "a socioeconomic structure and political ideology that promotes the establishment of an egalitarian, classless, stateless society based on common ownership and control of the means of production and property in general?"

Hmm. Maybe our friendly commentor meant to type a different word, and he was just thinking about communism, so it slipped out. Or maybe he doesn't know what the word means. Nah, there's no way someone this eloquent would use a word that he doesn't understand.

Serve our great republic and move to France or Venezuela, Spain or Denmark where bong toting pinheads are welcomed and admired! Oh yeah, not all socialists countries are open to fags, so you and Sean Penn might want to avoid Venezuela. But please get the fuck out fast nonethess!!!

Again, some strong semantic confusion here. Am I supposed to be a communist or a socialist? Additionally, I never knew I owned a bong, so if I've been toting one it must be invisible. This is actually pretty amazing, if I can discover the secret to this invisible bong technology I could manufacture and sell them and become rich.

Oh shit, I think I just broke my communosocialismonik vows. Now they're going to revoke my gay sex card for sure.

That reminds me, this colorful character seems to imply a sexual relationship between Millicent and myself (rightfully so), but then he implies we're both gay. Its important to note the amount of cognitive dissonance one of these cretins can sustain even over the course of a few sentences.

Ultimately, though, why would I want to leave the United States? My communosocialismonik brother Barack Obama has seized control of the executive branch through that ultimate anti-democratic, anti-constitutional, anti-moral trick of winning more electoral votes than the other guy.

Why would I leave when my guy is running the show?

Sorry friend, you and your ilk are well deserved losers. You had a chance to run the country and you did... right into the ground (or maybe off a cliff). It is people like you who make a moral revolution impossible at this point in history, you are simply incapable of true argument in the manner needed to operate a citizen government as envisioned by the founders of this country. If you ever hope to be worthy of the mantle you so greedily covet, you need to do a lot more reading and watch a lot less cable news. Stop listening to AM radio and learn to think for yourself. If your brain is even structured in such a way that you can, which I doubt.


Patriots United

Really? You're calling yourselves P.U.?

You people are so far over the top, its no wonder you ended up on bottom.


Blogger Millicent said...

This is so hilarious, it actually put me in a better mood!

9:07 PM  

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